Reflections

She was looking at me,
I lighted my cigarette.
She lighted one herself,
I looked away.


She had nice hair,
I looked back,
My cigarette was burning ash,
My head was aching.


She puffed away,
Moved her hand over her hair.
I looked at the reflections on the water,
Everything seemed gloomy.


I saw her image on the water,
It told me everything,
I did not want to know.
I took a puff again.


Her eyes had those colors,
That makes me blind.
But the smoke numbed my senses,
I enjoyed the disaffection.


I looked at her again,
She looked away.
I saw the smoke,
It blurred the background.


I could only see her now,
I breathed again,
The sky was hazy,
The moon was trying to hide behind the clouds.


She looked back at me,
I smoked the last puff.
I saw her reflections going away,
The water, disturbed.


I saw through the smoke,
I looked beyond her,
The backdrop was clear,
She was fading.


My thoughts faded away,
I lighted another cigarette.

Old lanes

The narrow lanes led to nowhere,
The old bricks were falling apart,
The flowers looked dull and dusty,
The kids were making noise.

There was an ice cream vendor,
The rusted iron gate led to the playground,
The women looked out of their balconies,
The men were coming back from work.

The tank water overflowed ,
Ran down the hoses to the streets,
The street lights started to glow,
The dogs were barking.

The radio was loud,
The college girl was studying,
There were a few guys,
smoking at the corner of the street.

The boys were done with cricket,
The shops started selling snacks,
The sky was cloudy,
A gust of wind blew away the clothes
on the terrace.

People looked up the sky in relief,
some looked up in anticipation,
some looked up in dismay,
The rain had set in.

The water logged in puddles,
Washed away the gloom,
Tin rooves made a clattering sound,
Some were caught up,
Some went about their work.

The evening was cooler,
The lights went out,
Everything seemed darker,
The sunny day seemed history.

The cars splashed water,
The lanes were muddy,
Old folks were having tea,
Young people were dreaming.

I was tired of looking out,
I went inside.

The road to Salua

How miserable the journey was, don't ask me!
How lonely the road turned out to be, don't ask me.

But still I went, every other day.

I sped my cycle away from all that killed me,
I made my way through all that held me back,
Why I went, don't ask me!

The only place where I could run to,
The only solace that I could get,
I know why you didn't ask me.

No legs were more quick,
No soul more enchanted,
No mind more puzzled,
Not that I expect you to ask.

When I left the premises,
May be I was in pain,
By the time I reached the crossing,
I knew to ask of you, was in vain.

How often I took the right turn,
Surprises me even today.
When everything lay to the left,
To Salua still I went.

Some days in the morning,
I would cycle my way there.
Often in the deserted afternoons,
I would lose myself to Salua.

The road went straight,
Went a little up, a little down,
Took some bends,
To somewhere it went,
But I halted at Salua.

Small shops thronged
the village roads,
Lots of cycles were parked
At the small clinic.

I went as far knowing
I had to come back.
I went the distance knowing
It doesn't end.

The road went on,
But my journey ended at Salua,
The road still goes,
But I miss the way to Salua.

The ceiling fan

I don't look at the stars anymore.
I don't feel good when the moon shines.
I don't like to feel the cold breeze,
But the ceiling fan still rotates.

I don't eat as much,
I don't finish my drink.
I don't go all the distance,
I don't ring you up anymore,
But the ceiling fan still rotates.

I don't remain awake late.
I don't wake up with a purpose.
I don't argue much,
The ceiling fan still rotates.

I do not walk the same roads,
I do not remain sober,
I don't think about it,
But the ceiling fan still rotates.

I don't go cycling in the village roads,
I don't ride the city buses,
I don't swim in the old pool,
I don't dream,
But the ceiling fan still moves on.

I don't read the news,
I don't listen to those songs,
I don't look out of the window really,
But the ceiling fan just doesn't stop.

I don't watch those films,
I don't go those places,
I don't stop by your place,
And the ceiling fan still rotates.

I don't read those letters,
I don't use that bed,
I don't wear those clothes anymore,
But this ceiling fan still goes on.

I do not use that perfume,
I haven't kept that pendant,
I don't know about myself these days,
The ceiling fan just doesn't stop.

I don't remember your face,
I don't like these idiots,
I don't wish to live that long,
And the ceiling fan still goes on.

I don't want to let it out,
I don't want to get over it,
But I don't know what if
The ceiling fan just stops now.


P.S. Saving energy and turning the fan off are no-way related, but surely you can do it for your own pocket.

The way you made me feel

Not until I was with you,
I didn't know how I alone I was.
Not until I slept in your arms,
I never knew how alone I am.

When you held my hands,
I realized that you mean nothing.
When you turned towards me,
I felt I was not looking at you.

To live without you,
Always felt so difficult,
But to live with you,
It made me feel truly serene.

Often when I had walked alone,
Made me miss you in every step.
When I walk with you today,
It makes me miss myself even more.

That I missed you made me bitter,
That I miss myself, makes me sad.
I started my journey to discover you,
And in the end I lost myself.

But now, I know my way back,
As you breathe every moment,
I retrace my steps,
To where I stood long ago.

That it will end one day,
Seems no reason to die today.
That it will all be well one day,
Seems no reason to not fight today.

The only truth is that you lied,
That I lied, that we lie everyday.
The only hope is that
I may speak the truth some day.

All the while, I cried,
For I thought I was wrong.
All the while, I tried,
And did not care to sing my song.

It is late when I have begun,
It is too late for things to be undone.
But, sometimes, I smell a change that lurks at a distance,
I can someday crossover to the other side.

I do not care to shed a drop
of tear or blood or sweat,
I am not a war-hero,
I do not want glory.

There was chaos to start with,
But today I shall choose peace.
There was a will to fight with,
But I shall today fall asleep.

When the morning rays fall on my eyes,
Or the door bell rings,
May be I would wake up and live again,
But may be someday, I will win the bargain.

A geek's story : Valentine's Day

Like every other day,
I wake up in dismay,
And feel good when it is not
The Valentine's Day.

Sometimes I sleep well,
Dream the end of this dreaded spell,
But not when it is
The Valentine's Day.

I can't stand to wait,
And not but curse my fate.
Just feel down and irate, 
With eyes a little wet,
Every year on this date.

Out there, I see
A happy bunch making merry.
Everywhere, I look in disdain,
But none for me, as ever again.


I try to look away,
But still to Lord I pray,
When will be I on the foray?
How long like this will I stay?

Everything seems a waste,
I live alone in detest.
How insensitive, I wish to protest!
That you regale while
I survive this cruel life's test.
I sulk my own way
Every Valentine's Day.

I live better,
I am on facebook and twitter
On other days, but what on
The Valentine's Day?


May be, I have my own quirks,
And I have my own twists,
But still with my girl,
I want to make a tryst.

Not any other day, 
I sulk much of being serene.
It just gets on my nerve,
With the Valentine's verve!

May be, I will too,
One day be two.
And go out with my babey,
On some other day!

It is strange

It is strange
That I have changed.


It is strange
That things have changed.


When I walk today,
I can see a new way.
When I think of it,
I know how different it was that day.


I feel the change,
Do you feel the same?
How I thought of things and me, 
How they shaped up to be!


I don't feel the way I did,
Not that today I am any less livid. 
I feel a change,
It is so strange.


Not a reason that I see
Why this is what it ought to be!
How I had lived a false hope,
Now I look away through my telescope.


How I thought I would die,
How I learnt up to lie.
I want to laugh now,
I know to live now.


Everything makes sense,
Shattered are the chains,
That tied me so long,
And now to no one I belong.


I know how you feel,
I know why they kill,
I know the reasons,
I know what imprisons.


Things are strange,
It is better that they change!


What is so bright today,
Is so dead another day.
I feel the change,
It's so strange.